16 weeks! Whoa momma!

The bump is real. I can't suck it in any longer! 

How far along? 16 weeks 

Total weight gain? 4.5 total (lost 2 then gained it back! yay!)

Maternity clothes? No! But mainly because I am in denial. I just wear "bigger" clothes. More versatile. 

Sleep? I sleep but back pain and round ligament pain are EH! 

Best moment this week? My amazing pre-natal appointment! Hearing the hummingbird heartbeat was amazing & reminded me of how well baby dough is doing. Another awesome moment is getting a hot stone massage pedicure AND once the lady found out I was preggo (because I was reading my preg book), she turned a 45 min session into a 2 hour one and extended my massage!! ;) The perks of pregnancy are beginning...ooooo!! :D

Miss Anything? headache free & acne free life!

Movement? Felt a couple "flutters" but not sure if that's the baby yet.

Food cravings? Raw veggies, chocolate ice cream, & Laos food

Anything make you queasy or sick? Motion sickness has gotten way worse & avocados still gross me out. 

Gender? Only God knows :)

Symptoms? Hormonal headaches, Round ligament spasms, and emotional instability! Eek. Oh and the on & off acne! When do I get the GLOW everyone talks about?!

Belly button in or out? In

Wedding rings on or off? on

Happy or Moody? I'm a rollercoaster baby! 

Looking forward to? BABYMOON to California & my first baby shower in California!! 

:)

mama got a hot stone massage pedicure. baby daddy cleaned the house. yay.

hummingbird heartbeat

Hearing your heartbeat makes me feel so much better.

All the worrying, weight loss/gain, headaches, and backaches don't cloud my head while hearing how strong and beautiful your heartbeat is. 

We are coming up on 16 weeks and I am excited because I will start to feel you which will be my reassurance every time there's a kick or nudge. 

We get to go on your first vacation...well while you're happily growing in me. 

I promise to continue to nourish you...stay relaxed so you will stay relaxed...and soak up all the love that California has to offer so you can get a glimpse of the world you're coming into. 

A lot of people already love you so much. 

Especially your dad and I <3

a baby name suggestion.

Meet Demeion.

He is my future cousin and has volunteered as my "baby planner". He is also a ((secret)) not-so-secret reader of my blogs **gasp** (haha).

Well we have this thing with pictures. At every super fab event (like where I'm Garth), we take pictures where I basically am picking him up from the ground hehe...well just giving him a big big hug cause he's so huggable!

There is much more to the story of our friendship/family-ship but that's for a later date ;)

Well while I am trying to fit this blog in super super late...I wanted to share the name he suggested...well more like gave us to give to our future baby-boy or girl.

Yes people. He is thoughtful enough to give us a UNISEX name! yes this guy has put thought into it!

So what's the name? 

Goodnight!

today was a tiring day. lets not mention the abundance of round ligament pain just beginning. another beautiful pregnancy pain. goodnight folks.

my break.

Last week, I was an emotional wreck. I really prided myself in being calm, cool, and collective (more so than during my PMS times) during this pregnancy...and even Ryan has acknowledged that. Even during the CRAZY nauseous times, I still had to go to clinic, treat patients etc without complaining or compromising my schedule...because I didn't have any other option. I still had to take board exams, sneak food in the bathroom during it, and ended up passing! So I feel like the majority of this thus far, I've been able to have a hold on my emotions. Until...last week. 

Life is stressful right? I mean duh. I guess that adds to the beauty of it all. But man oh man, did I underestimate these hormones or what?! I encountered some...difficult conversations with people and found myself tearing up and being able to hold back OR completely breaking down to the point of hyperventilation-crying..you know..that UGLY cry (haha). Ryan was always there of course to help soothe it all but I think I've apologized to him more this week than ever. Honestly though, through the crying rants, I think my week was successful if I didn't BITE anyone's head off which...believe me, was a hard filter to maintain considering my crazy emotional state! 

It wasn't just the uncontrollable crying during the stressful times. Oh it happened during the beautiful happy times too. Like when I passed boards. Then when Ryan took me out to dinner to celebrate, I just looked at him & he told me how beautiful I was, then I cried. Cried cried cried...oh gosh. I could fill the ocean with how much I LOST it this week. Then I had this dream...that makes me tear up just thinking about it. 

short one

Today is a short one guys. I will be sharing my emotional week I had with you tomorrow...from my breakdowns...my celebrations..to my dreams (literally). 

It's been grand. 

our date day.

Some advice that we have received thus far has been to try to enjoy each other as much as possible before the baby arrives and our marriage transitions into a whirlwind adventure. 

The thing I love about "us" the most is we have tried everyday of our relationship (not just marriage) to tell each other we love each other, miss each other, and really just want to spend time together. We are so blessed to have one another truly. 

Today we took a break from writing my last paper for grad school and went to eat some amazing "raw" yummy eats @ Borrowed Earth Cafe (a vegan raw restaurant). The baby has been craving tons of fresh veggies which is amazing and makes me feel gooood. Then we went to try out a new fresh market called Standard Market that we've heard amazing things about. It was definitely cool and a good experience. 

Ryan got his stout and I got my ice cream :) 

I would like to ask you all to continue to pray for us as we live through this amazing journey. 

Our goal no matter what is to preserve the love we have for each other as intimately and deep as possible.

 I have no doubt that we will be able to do that. 

Source: etsy.com via Miravone on Pinterest

bleh.

Today has been a very difficult day. Physically & emotionally.

I think the pregnancy emotions have hit me like a monster truck this weekend & I am having to adapt to being able to feel stable. 

The hormonal headaches have also been taking my life over and I slept for about 4 hours today after getting home from clinic. I only hope it gets better :/ 

Please keep me in your prayers! 

On a good note: I am so happy baby & I have made it to week 15 together. And the bump is getting harder & harder to disguise. 

tired.

I was going to talk about my amazing dream I had last night but I am too pooped! 

So until tomorrow folks! 

:D

So sweet

ryan just sang a little song to our baby. one of the many reasons i love this man.

nursery ideas.

Some ideas I found on Pinterest:

Love the idea of the pom pom things in the corner! 

Source: style-files.com via Miravone on Pinterest

Love the vintage crib & crochet lamp shades.

Source: ohdeedoh.com via Miravone on Pinterest

This is just FAB!!! But I would want more color.

Source: babylifestyles.com via Miravone on Pinterest

I want an elephant theme no matter what! I love the big vintage pictures and canopy!

Source: rhbabyandchild.com via Miravone on Pinterest

We definitely want a tree painted on the wall. A nice accent!

Source: roomzaar.com via Miravone on Pinterest

I love the quote...so touching. The dresser is awesome too! We have been looking at furniture to UPCYCLE!

Source: yougetthepicture.net via Miravone on Pinterest

BEAUTIFUL idea!

Source: evokingconnections.com via Miravone on Pinterest

I'm still searching around for more ideas! Such an exciting time!!! :D

my lucky charm.

Being nauseous...7 weeks pregnant...extremely uncomfortable..hungry...and tired = not a good time to study and take some tough board exams...especially since this was my turn to RE-TAKE them after being unsuccessful the first time. 

Stress levels were even higher than ever. I had to literally hide granola bars in my socks and sneak to the bathroom during the exam to eat to help maintain my nausea level as much as possible! 

Yes..I am a rebel (haha). 

I left the exams feeling horrible about myself. I knew deep down I would have to retake them...once again. But kept thinking...or trying to tell myself that it wasn't a big deal. The baby is more important. All the extra sleep I had to fit in, extra care I had to take, and rest I took rather than studying was what the baby needed. It was a sacrifice I had to take. 

I think more people remembered I took boards than me! I tried to put it in the back of my mind..but still received the dreaded question "So did you find out about boards yet?" OVER & OVER again. 

I began to hypothetically play in my mind how to tell all these people that I failed once again...even planning when I would be able to retake them. Every time the word BOARDS came up in conversation, I just cringed...thinking there is no way I would get to enjoy the JOY of passing these stupid crazy medical board exams!!

So I sit in my car today. Exactly 6 weeks later. With the envelope in hand. I said a little prayer...asking for peace..hope. I anxiously ripped it open and saw the joyous letters- P...P...P. YES FOLKS. 

I passed all of it!!!!!!!

Tears immediately began to flow as I screamed YESSSSS! It was an unbelievable feeling. 

There have been so many stressful emotions going through my heart...my mind....involved with this pregnancy. I've shared a lot of them so far. I have been trying to experience the beauty of it all...being grateful...hopeful...and joyful. But it's been tough. 

Weirdly enough, this has marked a complete reassurance for me. 

That baby and I are meant to be even more so than ever. My little lucky charm is more than a blessing than I ever could imagine. I can function as myself but just a better version...and not the opposite. 

Today is a good day.

Current: 14 weeks!

Baby is growing!

We made it! After all those updates and past glimpse, we are finally here! Baby Dough & I are comfortable and growing fast at 14 weeks. Last week, I "popped" a mini bump that isn't related to any GI bloating! ((haha)) 

These pasts posts have really been interesting for me to see what I've been through and now where we are together. 

Ryan is still the amazing man...husband...and future father that I always thought he would be. So patient..caring..understanding..and he doesn't complain AT ALL! Even when I would scream "YOU DID THIS TO ME!" ((haha)) I am truly blessed and fortunate to have him by my side through this whole process. 

"What about your career?!"

03/04/2012 

We went out to eat with my colleagues today and two very important mentors to celebrate our graduation coming up in April!

As everyone went around the table to discuss their future plans after graduation, I was in awe of all the amazing plans that have been set or laid down. All inspiring, awesome, amazing, etc etc.

I was the last to speak. I kept thinking…”What do I say?” After two doctorates, countless hours of studying, board exam after board exam, and all these loans…what do I say are my plans?

You’ve changed everything. In January, it was a scary almost bad scary change. But now it's one of the most exciting & happiest moments we are looking forward to! I know God has bigger plans for us..plans we were not aware of initially or that we felt we were ready for...but as Ryan has reminded me, I am experiencing one of the most amazing, beautiful, and important things that a woman can experience. Nothing else is more important at this point...even my career and the idea of "financial security".

**Here is my post from my other blog that I write for school discussing the big question..."WHAT ABOUT YOUR CAREER?"**

my 12 week update!

02/23/2012 

Whoa. Had my first and hopefully last bout of violent vomiting. I think it marked the day for me from only craving refined carbs & sugars to finally eating normal again- fresh vegetables, fruits, and meats! I went to school that day, gave away my gluten free lasagna happily, and went to buy a salad which consisted of a balsamic dressing, spinach, and almonds! It felt rejuvenating & I could tell that’s what you wanted.

So thank you! Mama is coming back! (slowly but surely).

03/02/2012 

Today marked the first “official” prenatal appointment with the midwife group that we chose. It is a frustrating experience so far only due to the financial aspect. It is unfortunate that is clouds our thoughts because I think we aren’t able to experience the joy completely until we let go of that worry. The visit went fine and at the end, the midwife was trying to find your heartbeat with a handheld Doppler.

My heart grew heavy instantly and I almost started to cry when after multiple attempts, she could only hear my heartbeat. She realized that I started to get very nervous. Medically I knew that there is no way I could of miscarried..I haven’t had any signs like before. But in my heart, I just NEEDED to hear your heartbeat..to know I was taking good care of you.

“Well…I know you’re worried. I heard the baby’s heartbeat briefly but lost it so I want to reassure by doing an ultrasound for you.”

I was extremely pleased & happy by the offer. I couldn’t believe she would offer that. So we moved to a different room. Ryan held my hand as she applied the cold gel to my abdomen. Then I saw you. Dancing & flipping around. It was like you were hiding from us. Every time she went over where you were, you instantly jumped around and hid! We started laughing. Both started to tear up as we saw how active you were….how safe you were….and how alive you were.

It gave my heart peace & brought your dad into a quick reality check. You are coming in September…and we can’t wait to meet you little baby!  But just wait until September..we’ll be patient until then!  We love you so much already. 

oops.

I promised you a "12 week update" blog but you'll have to wait until tomorrow.

This mama is exhausted.

Night!!

getting closer...

The plan is to catch you all up to where I am now...and we are almost there!! 

Here is my TEN week post:) Enjoy!

02/17/2012

My body feels more secure. You are starting to show a little and my pants are getting very tight. I finally am craving healthier foods like pomegranates!

We met your group of midwives today that will be delivering you into the world! Your dad and I were very excited but it was a stressful day. We saw the big numbers that we would have to pay since our insurance doesn’t cover the costs. I felt more discouraged by it all, but your dad felt okay about it.

I came home after that very long and draining appointment and took a much needed nap. Once I woke up, I felt better and couldn’t help but rub my belly to make sure you were also ok. Being the type A person that I am, it’s amazing how you have changed me and made me more calm…especially in times we have felt the most discouraged.

We went to your Aunt Rosie’s apartment in the city today to her post-Valentine’s Day party. I wasn’t sure I could keep up with all the dancing and everything since I am always very tired and nauseous, but it was fun to get some exercise in! It was a good way to end the stressful day as I got to focus on what’s really good in life…

love love love.

02/11/2012

We told your Grandpa and Grandma Dorough today about you. They were speechless…literally. But happy and couldn’t help but support us in any way so that you will get here safe and sound.

You will be their first grandchild! I can’t wait for you to meet them too! Just wait until September ok?

Ryan's mom reaction when we gave them their "anniversary gift" which was a picture of the ultrasound :)

02/14/2012

Your dad and I went to celebrate Valentine's Day today. I finally feel better (somewhat) so I was looking forward to stuffing my face!

My surprise gift to Ryan to find in the morning of V-Day!
Notice the little "Sugar Daddy" haha

Overall, we just celebrated our last Valentine's Day as a family of two before everything changes and it was phenomenal. 

Today was a reminder of how much we truly are in love and love each other so deeply. 

We are so lucky to be blessed with you and our Valentine's day next year will be even better than years past. BUT you are lucky to have parents that love each other so much...can't even begin to imagine how much deeper our love will become. 

This whole experience has truly brought us closer & more intimate. I am excited that you will have the father you deserve. I can only imagine what that would be like... 

still got it ;)
9 weeks here <3

a little body!

Baby Dough at 8 weeks (Feb 6th 2012)

02/06/2012

I got to hear your heartbeat today and see your little body forming with my help. I cried like a baby. Since what happened last time, I knew that I needed this ultrasound to confirm that everything was okay before I really wanted to tell anyone about you.

Hearing the hummingbird flutter of your heart made me feel like everything was going to be okay and that all this was worth it. All the financial insecurity, debilitating nausea, and fatigue was all worth it so that I can hear your heart beat over and over again.

The nausea and symptoms were already getting better anyways.

I had to share your first photo shoot with the people that knew about you as soon as possible. It already felt like the start of my “mamarazzi” days. 

I hope I’m taking good care of you and will get to meet you in September. My heart is already so full of love for you, I can’t imagine how much more love I can have when I get to see your face, hear your cries, and feel your heartbeat.

  

02/09/2012

I get a phone call today from the doctor that helped me meet you on Monday. She said everything looks normal BUT my progesterone, which is suppose to nuture you and take care of you, is on the lower end of normal. With my medical history, they want to give me progesterone as a precaution.

I cried immediately after the phone call. There was no way I could lose you now. I felt disappointed in my body. I’ve been so healthy…lost all my extra weight…ate very healthy…and yet my body does not know how to carry a baby? It was frustrating and I started to feel insufficient.

I had your dad pick up the progesterone right away. I never want to take hormones because I know all the side effects of them, but I couldn’t take the risk. Your dad and I spent a night crying over all the possibilities…he was fully supportive of me taking this risk for you.

I began to pray. Praying hard…crying…praying harder…crying. This couldn’t be it. I know that if it was inevitable to happen, the progesterone wouldn’t completely prevent it.

I started the hormones and all my symptoms came back with a vengance. But I kept in mind that you were growing happily and getting all the nutrition you needed. I was hoping that it would be enough…that my body would be enough. We couldn’t lose you now. 

it's getting so real!

I am going to start dating my entries to make things less confusing! These are all entries I've written in the past on my own to catch you on on my pregnancy experience as a whole! :) 

02/01/2012

Some very special people came to visit you today baby. Your aunts Rosie, Darlene, and Vanessa traveled just to make sure you were fed! They already love you so much! 

The nausea and fatigue is getting better. It almost scares me that it is…does that mean my hcG levels aren’t high enough? The little cramps here and there that I get also get my mind working a million miles a second…wondering if we will ever get to meet you.

But just know that you are so loved & your dad is being phenomenal...trying to make sure I eat anything! I don’t want to lose weight again like last week. I’m trying to walk more (thank goodness the weather is absolutely beautiful) which has been helping with the nausea too. The acupuncture is doing great things too…making sure my body is strong enough to hold on to you..and helping with the nausea.

I just need to control how much I eat so that I can stay healthy after you’re born! Someone has to keep up with you :)

02/05/2012

Church was phenomenal today. It helped us (your dad and I) to be secure in the hope and love we have in our heavenly Father…rather than worrying about everything and anything.

It’s getting more real…all the research we have to do to get the best pre-natal care while wondering how we are going to pay for everything is getting both of us stressed. Not only are we freaking out about your nursery…your clothes…etc etc, but how are we suppose to take care of you now while you’re in my belly?

The worship song today “You fail us not” was what we needed to hear. It’s foolish for us to think that we created you..God created you..and He loves you so much already…I know that He will take care of you..and use us as instruments. We’ve already lost before…we aren’t going to lose you.

My body is already changing so much. You’re making a statement already that will be hard to hide soon. We can’t wait to share this joy we have with everyone in our lives…you are already loved so much.

The nausea, fatigue, brain fog, etc is all worth it. I know that as your mother, I already will do anything for you. 

Here is the link to my blog that I wrote this exact day: Click!

_____________________________________________________________________

Tomorrow- you'll get to meet my little shrimp baby. Well kind of;)

spring forward!

spring forward makes me even more tired. grrrr.

13 weeks today!

Before I proceed with the "glimpse" into my past experiences during my 1st trimester, I wanted to share a video FIVE days after I found out. 

I was about 6 weeks pregnant in this video (only my husband and I knew)...nauseous...nervous...worried. I sang at a "coffee house" event in Chicago & the song really gave me comfort. I was battling thoughts of doubt, worry, hopelessness, and so forth along with feeling atrociously horrible...nauseous, weak, fatigue...on & on. 

This is not my best performance by any means, nor is it a full performance, but it is a raw glimpse into my heart. I was battling the urge to vomit and weak knees at the same time! 

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you or forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6.

May you find encouragement, hope, and peace no matter what you are going through in your life. Whether it be the lost of a child, the lost of the ability to bear children, struggles in school and your career, etc etc. 

today is not the day for another blog. 

massive headache that carried me into a deep sleep! 

now it's 11:30p and I'm eating. 

tomorrow will be better!

...oh...the first tri..

10 days after we found out...

Oh gosh. The nausea is hitting me like a train to the face. It is absolutely terrible.

But it weirdly enough makes me smile because it means there is some good work being done to protect my little bambino. Or bambina? I’ve been told that maybe the increased nausea is a sign for a baby girl? Oh gosh,…I really don’t know if Ryan and I can handle a girl right now. I mean…karma is a b**** right? Well I was a lot for my mom to handle..so I can only imagine what the future holds for me. Although girls are WAY more fun to dress up! So that will be exciting.

It’s still all surreal to me. I can’t believe it. This time next year, Ryan and I will have a completely different life. We will be holding a bundle of cuteness and our hearts will be bigger than we could ever imagine.

Now the task is to overcome these boards…which I have not had the energy to study for. Then to dominate clinic…then I will be home-free to enjoy my pregnancy…in the hot summer while trying to find a job? And study for boards…yet again.

If only I didn’t sleep for 12-15 hours a day, feel nauseous the remaining of the time, maybe I could actually accomplish those above things! Blah.

Well it’s good the baby is doing well even though mama isn’t. I already love him/her so much…this is all worth it. Boards can be taken over…who cares. I only care for the little thing growing inside of me.

the days...

I am so floored by the support that you are all giving!! Thank you thank you thank you! 

**Please keep in mind that these blogs have been written in the PAST.**

How many weeks at the time of these blogs today? SIX-SEVEN weeks.
(Currently: going into 13th week!)

**The next day after finding out...

"Alarm rang. 7am! My first thought: I am so uncomfortable! I need to sleep on my back to have a restful sleep…but heard that I couldn’t?

2^nd thought: Gotta wake up to go to work with the husband to study for board exams. Boring!

3^rd thought: Will the 2^nd pregnancy test be POSITIVE? And within seconds again…two beautiful vertical lines = PREGNANT!

Now what do we do? Individual health insurance does NOT give you an automatic maternity coverage. Great. Ryan’s work pays for a portion of our insurance but does not belong to a GROUP insurance (which would cover maternity). The stress begins to set in.

What will our families think? It’s already been a rough 2 ½ years of marriage with balancing financial insecurities. They might be mad? Happy but then mad? Like maybe they will feel obligated to help? Sigh….

So now…we know…we’re paying for this out of pocket. The whole shebang. Pre-natal care…pregnancy..labor..etc. Even if we signed up for a maternity option…there is a 1 year waiting list which means that baby will already be pooping, spitting up, and peeing in my face before I can get anything covered. Welps, that won’t work.

So what do we do now? 

All I can say is…thank goodness God is on my side. Cause then this will work out.

Let’s just hope baby and me make it on this journey full term together.

I already love the little thing so much. How is that possible? Well it is."

"we're pregnant!!!"

5 days after I peed on a stick and screamed at the top of my lungs "We're pregnant!"
6 weeks January 2012 :)

Okay. This may be difficult for me to open you up to this aspect of my world. But it only makes me...and hopefully you appreciate this little being growing inside me even more.

Like I've said before, I've been journaling on my own very honest...genuine thoughts of my own. Not about all the nausea, cravings, and etc etc but really about the anxiety...the heart of the matter..my fear.

All I ask is that you read, absorb, and maybe be inspired. I don't expect more questions or more explanations. Read it and take it for what it is...appreciate my honesty..and respect it. 


Blogging has given me a way to provide an outlet, gather support from all of you, and document my life in the most positive way possible...and I just want to keep it that way :)

So here goes. My first entry. The day we found out. 

the fun facts.

9 weeks- Feb 12th 2012
No bump yet! Just wearing a bigger 'dress'.

Hello world! 

Ryan and I are so touched & amazed at the outpouring of love, kind words, & support we have received since making the BIG announcement yesterday.

Since we found out that we were "expecting" in January, I have been keeping a journal on the side to document all my emotions & thoughts that will be given to our baby as a keepsake one day!

Then thought it would be awesome to share all that with you through this blog once we made the big announcement. So that's what you should be expecting!

Tons of stories of my experience, the dynamics of my relationship with others around me, and sharing any and every research that I find!

Now you may understand why my blogs have been lacking...I haven't been feeling good & barely made time to write a couple sentences here and there! :D

*Due date: September 16th 2012


*How far along are you: Currently 12 weeks! Will be entering the 2nd trimester Friday :)

*What does "Baby Dough" mean: Dough is short for our last name "Dorough" but also is a play on words for the popular phrase "bun in the oven!" 
Despite what some may have believed, NO we are not naming our baby "Dough"! (hahaha)


So what should you expect for tomorrow's blog?

I will start from the beginning :)  

baby talk!

It's baby time!

Welcome to my new series. 

It's going to be ALL things baby. 

Expect lots of stories, laughs, tears, pictures, and updates from us as we venture on this new journey together. Our love story now transitions into opening our hearts to a little mini-me :D 

Since we found out, I have been journaling on my own to share with our baby one day....as well as to share with all of you. It will open you up to my world of emotions, nausea, and cravings :) 

I hope you will feel inspired, encouraged, and touched. All tips are welcome for us! Nothing is like learning from mamas that have been there...our baby books don't have enough information! 

Details will be released tomorrow with my first blog post with "baby talk". 

Overall, we are so EXCITED and appreciate the outpouring of love. It means so much to us and ask that you continue to keep us in your prayers! 

Also I've taken some inspiration from a fellow blogger who has does a beautiful and amazing job blogging her pregnancy- Check out this blog!. I will be utilizing some her ideas in my blog too! 

Delayed!

Can you believe it? 

Well maybe you can because I've been sleeping a lot lately. 

I got home today at 5:30p from a very busy & long day....and week. I took my normal friday nap. This time, I didn't wake up until 10:30p and that is only because Ryan came in to wake me up! (haha) 

I am excited to start my new series but I must say, I will need to delay it one more day. 

Stay tuned. It will be worth it :)

stay tuned!

It's been a long day. Goodnight! :D

I am excited to start a new series tomorrow! Stay tuned ;)