registry

This is probably the most frustrating experience thus far. 

THE REGISTRY. 

Grrrr....

20 weeks! Halfway!!

How far along? 20 weeks 

Total weight gain? 1# (Total: 9 #)

Maternity clothes? I refuse to! Just wearing anything stretchy at this point.

Sleep?  I always feel SUPER tired...energy is moderate but doesn't seem to last throughout the day. Sleeping has been difficult with the bigger belly, sinus problems, and constant peeing! A humidifier has helped so much!

Best moment this week? Feeling a BIG punch in the gut! :) 

Miss Anything? Being able to sleep throughout the night.

Movement? I've been feeling flutters here and there but just felt a big jab the other night! I can't wait for more little wiggles!

Food cravings? Laos food & raw veggies! I still LOVE Laos food...baby is definitely SUPER Asian:) Recently & randomly craved a turkey sandwich. Nothing super weird though! Not yet at least.

Anything make you queasy or sick? Motion sickness, avocados, fish....the saga continues. 

Gender? a future diva :)

Symptoms? Sinus problems, Constant peeing, feeling "full" all the time, and muscle aches! 

Belly button in or out? In! 

Wedding rings on or off? on

Happy or Moody? Super happy :) But emotional...of course.

Looking forward to? Feeling more karate kicks...and for Ryan to finally feel some movement! :) Oh and our prenatal appointment this week...hearing the heartbeat never gets old!

in Rock town

Sorry...not much to write today. 

Spent the day in Rockford with a bunch of awesome people :) 

20 week update tomorrow plus Maria's Bridal Shower! 

my future?

Sophia Grace & Rosie are a HUGE hit now since their debut singing "Super Bass" on the Ellen Show.

This is their most recent appearance & performance:






Sophia Grace's hype girl Rosie is MORE hype than ever!! haha :)

Enjoy and happy Friday!!

20 week update coming up on Sunday! :)

pregnancy & my "fitness"

Weight loss. Weight gain. Food. Weight Gain. then weight loss. then food...

That's always been a constant struggle in my life. 

From my family doctor telling me (who was also Asian) "You're NORMAL but you're big for an Asian" haha Um thanks?

I love being Laotian...I make sure to always represent my culture by being able to communicate in my language, cook the food, and my strong family values. But oh boy. Do they tell you like it is or what?! 

"Your face is so pretty...you should lose weight so it all matches."

A couple more recent comments...

"Wow I'm so surprised you didn't blow up like a whale cause you're pregnant!"

"Don't wear that, it shows your big belly, no one wants to see that." (referencing my pregnancy)

"I could tell you were having a girl because in Laos culture, if your face gets big and you are always eating, it's a girl...and that's you."

So do you kinda get why I've had to grow some thick skin? Yeah. 

I just laugh about it now. 

The confidence I have in myself isn't something I gained over night. It's a lifelong process I still have to maintain and work on. Do I think I am God's gift to earth or do I think I am the scum of the earth? None of the above at all. Did I struggle with self worth? Absolutely...and sometimes it creeps up to haunt me. 

exposure.

I remember sitting in Psychology class and learning about how amazing our brain functions. Through traumatic events, our brain literally blocks those memories out as a protective mechanism. Crazy. As I sat there, I started to try to remember my childhood. I pride myself in my "photographic memory"...honestly it's probably what got me through my extensive long educational career. But as I sit here now and in my psychology class at University of Iowa years and years ago, I find it very hard to remember details.

All is left are bits and pieces of events. Like a broken puzzle. I remember just enough to know the context of my childhood but not enough to completely be broken down by it. All in all, I have built this "Great Wall of China" around myself that has closed myself off from society. I have to admit, I am almost always in defense mode...ready to strike at any moment with hurtful words mainly..or that's how I was. I am so surprised I am where I am today...somewhat normal and functional in society:)

My abrasive and tough exterior got me through a lot more rough times but also left a lot of scars in relationships I had with people. The person I am today is definitely not who I was back then...I like to think I am a bit more grown up and refined. But those moments that I've had...and I've had many...where I've used my words to hurt or "defended" myself one too many times have left some of my relationships with "childhood friends" scarred and unfixable. I am plagued by my past...like many are.

I am so fortunate that throughout the whole process of my transformation, I've had constant people that have stuck it through with me. They saw the potential in me...they probably had to love me in the beginning and now (hopefully) enjoy loving me. My best friends, my mom, my brothers, my sister-in-law, my extended family- the unconditional love and encouragement has helped me see the light.

Don't get me wrong. I don't let myself get walked all over. I still can defend myself. I am still seen more as an "outspoken" person. I know what I want in life. I know how to get it and I do. I don't trample on people in the process nor do I use hurtful words anymore to leave scars and make the wound sting. Did I use to? Probably. I won't blame it on my childhood or lack there of. It's an internal struggle I still face everyday.

diaper time

I am getting overwhelmed. Baby stuff is harder than medical school! At least in medical school, there was a right and wrong. Now I'm stuck trying to decide between this or that while trying to maintain our eco-friendly Earth baby theme. 

So I need YOUR help! Please? 

I've spent too much time going from site to site. Ryan and I want a mix of a cloth & disposable diaper so we have versatility while staying Earth-friendly...and also saving money (in the end)!

almost forgot.

almost forgot to write something on my blog. well nothing exciting because i am updating from my phone. just enjoying reading hunger games while hubby sleeps. should soak up quiet evenings while i still can. goodnight.

my love letter.

Nineteen weeks.Photo Courtesy of: Jay's Photography

Dear little baby girl-

share the love.

Two of my colleagues from school (now doctors of Chiropractic and some pretty awesome chicks) will be venturing on a road trip across the country as a celebration of graduation & life! 

They are both amazing women with big hearts & you are guaranteed some entertainment and inspiration as you follow their journey before they both embark on the official duties of being a "Chiropractic doctor"  with all the rights and responsibilities! 

Here is their "button" or link:

Share the love & follow their journey! I will be!! 
<3
And don't worry, we are announcing the BIG NEWS tomorrow. Stay tuned!!!! :D

baby names.

It's true. We know the gender of our little babes. 

But we are holding out on the information for just a couple more days :)

Some baby names that have been suggested:

Zoe (4 year old cousin): "Duh she's having a girl...cause she's a girl! You should name your baby ROTUNDA."

(Silence....followed by laughter) 

She was dead serious folks.

Demeion (future cousin in law): "If you have a boy, name him DJ. You know...Demeion Junior." 

Also dead serious.

So whether we are having a boy or girl, we definitely have some front runners for sure;)

On a serious note, we had a random conversation with two lovely ladies in the hot tub today at the hotel & I think we might actually have an idea of a baby name for our little...girl? boy? We'll see;) 

Stay tuned.

Double D today

Sidney, Me, Crystal, Chun, Takiyah, Linda, Derek- the ND 2012 graduating class.
ALL DOCTORS NOW!

After a long exciting and love-filled day, I regret to say that I have the energy to write out a full reflection of my educational career.

I hope to do that sometime next week when it all sinks in.

I am done. A bachelor's degree and down TWO doctorates & out a lot of money (haha).
But I know this calling has been worth it...for more reasons than healing.

Until my reflection day, thank you to my loved ones, friends, family, husband, and graduating class for keeping me sane...reminding me of how good life is...and how a healing touch can truly save a life...even your own:)

Love you all. Goodnight! 

wow

tomorrow is the day. graduation. whoa.

grammar

Come on people!!! here's the link to the full picture: Click here!

spoiled.

The baby and I are so spoiled. 

I don't even like donuts...well before the pregnancy but for some reason, I was craving the chewiness and sugary taste of the beloved American breakfast....but for dessert. 

The craving started yesterday and I wouldn't settle for Dunkin Donuts which was the only option within a 10 min driving distance in our city so I didn't give in...but the craving only got stronger. I've been reading pregnancy books and from my education, cravings of refined carbs usually need to be replaced with a protein because it's your body's craving for ENERGY. 

Well I went a WHOLE day...ate protein...ate healthy...but then the craving did not go away. So my amazing hubby (after a long day of work) drove to a mom & pop donut shop and bought me a variety! A yummy variety!! I took about 6 bites..ok maybe...10 and then that was all I needed. The 11th bite I spit out because the baby did not need it anymore. 

I feel so much better. Wheww!! It's good I ate super healthy today otherwise! 

Then we got a surprise in the mail from Ryan's brother Evan and his gf Danielle! 

Ryan's wishes have come true. Our baby is now officially a BABY SPARTAN!! Thank you for all the love!! We're so blessed :)

18 weeks!!

It's a baby belly!! 

How far along? 18 weeks 

Total weight gain? 3.5 # (Total: 8 #)

Maternity clothes? I refuse to! Just wearing anything stretchy at this point.

Sleep? I NEED sleep...always very tired! I can't make it pass midnight anymore!

Best moment this week? Feeling the "butterflies" here & there :)

Miss Anything? Well...went to a wedding at a vineyard THEN went to my graduation party with my class yesterday so...WINE! haha

Movement? Felt the butterfly flutters but not too often yet! 

Food cravings? Laos food & raw veggies! Mainly food aversions still! 

BUT TODAY I WANT DONUTS!! 

Anything make you queasy or sick? Motion sickness has gotten way worse & avocados still gross me out and EW FISH!! 

Gender? We will announce it next week if the baby cooperates! :)

Symptoms? Back pain! Headaches! Acne has finally gotten better and I have the glow! :) 

Belly button in or out? In

Wedding rings on or off? on

Happy or Moody? I'm a rollercoaster baby! But mainly HAPPY!  

Looking forward to? Graduating on Thursday, our ultrasound on Friday, and being able to relax without worrying about school. 

coming soon...

Everything has been hectic with graduation stuff so I will post an 18th week update tomorrow!

Heading off to celebrate with my colleagues in the city now! :)

Shirley Temples...here I come!

tired

baby is growing but mama is tired!

One!

this crazy journey is coming to an end. one more day of clinic then graduation next week. woooohooooooooo

My last SCHOOL blog :)

I just wanted to share my last school blog with all of you! For anyone confused, I also write a weekly blog for my grad school to give current and prospective students of my experience as a Naturopathic student. I thought it was a good way to give you some insight into my experience in California. 

"Well here we are guys. This is my last blog to you EVER. Can you believe it? We’ve been on this journey together for a LONG time now…ever since I started the Chiropractic program all the way through finishing the Naturopathic program! It has been a huge blessing to reflect every week on this blog not only to give you insight but for myself. Now I can look back and remember small details of my life that I may not have stored in my memory. That’s the great thing about blogging.

heading back to Chicago tonight. 

Will be sharing a longer blog tomorrow! :)

pray for safe travels<3

last day here!

I will probably not have time to update my blog today...nor do I want to have time! We are going to spend our last day going to Santa Monica pier/beach, the observatory in Hollywood, and finishing it off with food of course! 

Spending today with all my cousins, niece, and nephews! So excited! :)

first baby shower!

Our first baby shower in Sunny California! 

We are so blessed with amazing family & friends...from the planners...decorators...chefs....I can't believe how much love was put together for our little baby! :) 

We love you guys so much & baby dough is coming into such an awesome family with really cool people :) 

& this is our first of many baby showers...ha. :) More pictures will be posted soon! But I am pooped!

Love you guys. Going to bed so we can enjoy our last full day in California...Santa Monica Beach...Hollywood...here we come! 

no wine.

wedding in wine country minus the wine for me.

out

out with family watching movies!

numbers

EIGHT: dollars for six pairs of cute baby gloves!

ONE: more day of clinical rotations.

SIXTEEN+more: number of family I've been able to visit already.

TEN: the most I've peed in one day. annoying!


SEVENTY+: degrees is a norm around here. Where's the 90?!

FIFTY: dollars (+/-) spent so far. my family really takes good care of me!

FIFTEEN: patients I've met during my rotations so far all with IV treatments, injections, ozone treatment, etc. amazing!!


TWO+: or more hours I drive a day round trip to my rotations. ick!


FIVE: days left until returning back to sunny Chicago. sad...

ZERO: times that I've been to the beach...even more sad.

SEVENTEEN: weeks of pregnancy = bigger belly...mo' problems! ah the back pain.

THREE: my newest favorite number.

me + baby + baby daddy :) 

reunited. 

<3

busy

hello peeps. i had a jam packed day with three hours of walking in the sun...shopping...eating...driving...eating...eating...eating..oh and a hair cut.  so i am too pooped to write an elaborate post. tomorrow will be better. my ryan will be here. wooohooooo.

I love this kid.

Kalie is my 7 year old cousin that I've had the pleasure to spend a lot of time with. I was there when she was born, changed her diapers, played her "big sister" role, then boom my second Mom and her kids move away to California! 

I thought she would never remember me because she was so young but I told my Aunt Mac to always show her a picture of me and tell her who I was. I also called from time to time to let her hear my voice and talk to her as soon she was able to speak fully. 

Now she is 7 years old and reading bedtime stories to my baby. It's so amazing how time flies. 

Today I came home and we watched two whole movies together and just hung out. I love being able to have full conversations with her as she tells me about her best friends, how we share the same LOVE for math (so asian right?), and how much she loves going to school.

She impresses me so much. This girl comes home from school and finishes her homework right away...like immediately. Then she reads about 3-4 books out loud to keep up with her books...she is a bookworm. Then she will either help grandma cook (try to help) or pick out her outfit for the next day. She showers around 8:30p then puts herself to bed by 9pm...and she is knocked out. (I am actually sharing a room with her, writing this blog in the dark, while she is off away in dream land) Then the best part is she wakes herself up (without an alarm) at 6am promptly, goes into her parents room to wake them up, gets ready for school (brushes her teeth, washes her face, gets dressed), and makes herself breakfast and watches TV the rest of the time. She doesn't have to go to school until 7:40a but chooses to wake up THAT early so she can (in her own words) "relax and get ready for the day". 

She is so helpful, kind, and gentle in every way. And she's super smart...it only took her minutes to meet Ryan before she told me I should marry him! :) She loves him!

I hope if we have a baby girl, she turns out just as brillant as her. 

my grandmama

I love my grandma so much. She is the definition a supermom. She knew I was coming and that I've been craving Laos food...especially HER cooking..so she had a bunch of stuff already cooked! Then spent the whole day today making stuff from scratch including homemade noodles for a chicken noodle soup called "kow piek sen". Delicious! 

However I spent the day driving through mild traffic to my first day of clinicals with a Naturopathic doctor and had an awesome experience observing tons of IV therapy, injections, etc. Then when I came home, I couldn't help but fall asleep for about FOUR hours to the smell of homemade Laos food. It reminded me of when I was kid and my grandparents lived with us. I would run in the house after school with food already set on the table, warm rice in the microwave, and my grandma urging me to eat! 

I ate GOOD growing up. She is the reason I LOVE Laos food so much...for anyone that knows her, knows why. She is one of the best cooks...seriously. She is also the reason I have A LOVE for Laos food...that I appreciate the history, our culture deep rooted in it, and that I cook it for my husband (& yes, he is officially Asian..just really light skinned!) haha

So I can't wait to cook like this for our little baby. He/She will LOVE it just as much as me. The way I ate growing up has also expanded my palate. I live through someone's culture by their food. I would love to travel to every single country ever but instead, I seek out the mom/pop restaurants, eat their food, talk to the owners/cooks, and experience it through my taste buds.

That's what my grandma taught me. 

And I hope to teach my son/daughter one day. :)

california

we arrived safely in beautiful southern california. can't blog too much tonight because i have to brave the los angeles traffic tomorrow & i need sleep. will post pictures & what not tomorrow. muah.