ONE-derland!

Credit: pictures are courtesy of Vanessa Hedstrom and Maria Luna. Thank you guys!

Can you believe it? I can’t either.

Our baby is ONE! 

my story...

Sept 20th :)

 You’ve heard the term supply and demand right? I’m not an economics person so pardon my cheesy comparison. Well in my breastfeeding experience, there was high supply, high demand, and a high price. This pretty much describes our journey together...Estella & I.

As soon as I pushed her little body out , we did skin-to-skin as soon as we could. My boob ratio to the size of her head and mouth was already a dead giveaway that this was going to be a challenge (a “blessing” & a curse). What I thought was a good latch the first 2 days in the hospital was a HORRIBLE latch. I found out later that I would soon pay for it. It worked out (sarcasm here) when the poo-ey lactation consultant never showed up. I heard she sucked anyways (sorry but it’s true), but it would have been nice to know that we didn’t get the latch right.

Estella’s pediatrician showed up (we love him btw) and gave me a breastfeeding book. Huge points for him! We knew we chose the right pediatrician...even though we make quite the drive to see him. Anyhow, little did I know, days later, the book would be my go-to savior (Great book!).

Hiding her face while nursing.

By the 3^rd day, it happened. My boobs expanded to the size of alien out of this planet sized boobs and they were rock hard and I thought they were going to explode! It was an extreme amount of tension plus I found out later that being “blessed” only allowed them to expand EVEN more....greeeaaaat. I started feeling all these nasty hard nodules and my milk sprayed everywhere. It was so painful. So I pumped to relieve the engorgement. Well...that started an evil cycle that would soon leave us all very fussy.

My freezer was stocked with TONS of breast milk. Estella was NOT gaining weight (not really losing weight though). Her poops were NOT the beautiful mustard seedy yellow you would expect. Ryan and I no longer knew what SLEEP was. My nipples never bled but felt like I rubbed sand paper all over them. And (as many people could attest to), we had a very FUSSY baby.

The beauty of nursing- good cuddles!

And what made it even harder was when we would hear people say, “Wow...she’s so small...are you feeding her?” NO..WE ARE STARVING OUR NEWBORN...dummies. Or the very annoying, “Don’t worry, she’ll catch up.” What does that even mean?! I knew in my heart as her mother, my worry was not in vain.

Being the paranoid and worrywart that I am, I researched. I read. I consulted with other moms. I contacted a lactation consultation over the phone. We had weekly visits to her pediatrician (who also showed some concern-thank goodness). Then I went to a Breastfeeding USA meeting. I was determined to fix her latch. I found out quickly that wasn't the only problem. We had an "over-production" problem too...too much of a good thing really is a problem. 

I still remember clearly the emotions I had while breastfeeding. So many moms were encouraging me and telling me, “It gets better, I promise! You’ll love breastfeeding!” I would just roll my eyes. You mean...I’m going to love feeling like my boobs are going to explode, deal with the painful plugged ducts I had numerous times, my scabbed nipples, OH and everyone telling me that I’m starving my baby?! WHEN AND HOW?!

Cubs Game

I would wake up to feed her in the middle of the night, prop myself up in bed, and as she was nursing, feel the tears come down my face like a waterfall as I tried to sweetly and calmly tell her, I loved her and that the pain and exhaustion was worth it. Sometimes, Ryan and I would look at each other and I could tell he felt helpless because Estella would nurse for 45-60 minutes at a time every 2 hours.

By the time she was done nursing, I only had time to pee, quickly eat, and put a hot compress on my boobs to relieve pressure or apply the massive amounts of lanolin nipple cream before the whole process started again.

When I went to the breastfeeding meeting, I tried to hold my composure as I witnessed all these women freely nursing their newborn-toddler babies. When they asked me to share my story, I just cried. I begged them to help me get to where they were. Confident. In charge. And most of all, in enjoyment... I yearned to feel the bond that all these women talk about.

After having a natural labor & delivery, I thought breastfeeding was going to come easy for me. Needless to say, it took 8 weeks of hard work and an extreme amount of support from my mom, husband, mother-in-law, sister-in-law, pediatrician, and friends.

Estella and I have mastered the art of breastfeeding. We are a team. Once I figured it out, she followed my cues. My body healed and continues to provide her with the nourishment she desires and needs. We had formula ready if needed, but we are proud to say we didn’t need to supplement. Once we fixed our issues (here’s my previous blog with more details- my over-production problem), Estella had large and consistent weight gain and now we are PROFESSIONALS. We can nurse in the ergo (hands free), in almost every position (side-lying professionals = sleep for everyone!), and anywhere and everywhere (even on a moving farm tractor!). 

Her personality started to blossom into the sweet and happy baby that she is today and we didn’t even get her into all her clothes before she outgrew them all! I can’t imagine a day without nursing her. To some people, we spoil her, but to Ryan & I, we give her exactly what she needs with faith, that it will be enough.

I am so honored by the stories of all these brave and bold mamas and their willingness to share.

This awareness project was not meant to single out moms that don’t  breastfeed or make breastfeeding look superior in any way. It’s really about breaking down walls that it’s not a normal and natural thing to breastfeed in public (with or without a cover). I rarely ran to hide in a room to nurse her or felt that I had to huddle in a bathroom stall....hearing stories like that breaks my heart that our society cannot embrace the beauty of just giving your baby what he/she needs.

CloudGate in Chicago, IL

I hope that you have been inspired. If it is your goal to breastfeed your baby, I hope you have seen through the different stories shared by all these wonderful mamas, that it is a goal you can achieve for however long you decide to do it.

Buckingham fountain Chicago, IL

I love hearing the question- 

“How long are you going to breastfeed Estella?”

Because I have the perfect answer.

However long she needs me to...

If you’re new to my blog, please check out the following links to catch up on my breastfeeding awareness project!

--A look into my breastfeeding awareness project

--My breastfeeding bucketlist

--Boobs & a wedding- a story

--An impromptu pumping story @ a concert!

Please read all the stories I have featured by clicking on "Breastfeeding Awareness" at the top!

a STRONG mama...

My family and I moved to IL when I was about 7-8 years old from California. I remember clearly the first time I ever met this family of three sisters. Daoluang greeted me by screaming in my face (haha) but from there, my bond with the “Deevanna sisters” grew.

Throughout the years, I kept in contact with them and feel very connected to each of them in very different ways....mainly because they are all three different people! I am so fortunate to have them as friends...all the crazy things we’ve been through together has really helped us maintain a close bond.

My bond with Nana, the youngest, grew after she became a mother. I’ve said it many times before and I’ll say it again, but once you become a mother, you definitely become a part of this elite club of instant love and support. I reached out to her initially to just show support through post partum as well as the start of her breastfeeding journey...and then continue to keep in contact with her through this rough transition in her life as a single parent.

I identify with her so much more than ever. Not only as a mother, but also because I was raised by a single mother. I have so much confidence in the man she will raise her little guy to be and the things she has been through (and continues to face) inspire me everyday.

Her story has really touched me and I hope that you will find hope and inspiration in it. She is so brave to open herself to you all and I am so grateful that she has chosen to be a part of this project.

Here is her story...

a LOVING mama...

Natalia's 1st birthday

Before becoming a mom, I started this blog and documented the journey of my pregnancy and opened myself up to everyone. After blogging through my tough post-partum period, an outpouring of even more LOVE was apparent from all my readers!

The next mom I am featuring is one of those awesome mamas that reached out to me. She encouraged me with her story of post partum and her birth story including the fact that she is nursing her toddler and shares the same faith.

Agnieszka has such a big heart, has the same passion for alternative medicine as I do, and is so in love with her daughter...and it shows. We recently had a playdate and her daughter has the sweetest personality. She is independent, loving, bilingual, and so healthy. It is encouraging to know that the way that Agnieszka and Cole “parent” has not only benefited them, but shows so much in how their daughter, Natalia, interacts with people and especially how she eats! The girl loves her fruits and veggies! It’s great to see another mom who is just as crazy about her daughter as I am...and going the extra mile to make sure that she gets the best.

Above all that, she also went to work full time, pumps to keep up her milk supply, and STILL has time to give Natalia what she needs with nursing AND healthy whole foods. The phrase “NO EXCUSES” can be exemplified by her completely!

Here is her story...

mama doctors!

Today I am featuring a couple of mama doctors- colleagues from our grad school. It seems that as soon as we all became moms, our connection grew beyond our educational background.

Now that breastfeeding is getting more support and acceptance (although it is still a struggle), there was a time when breastfeeding was not the best option and doctors actually told mothers that formula was the better choice. So if there wasn’t support, many moms in the 70’s and early 80’s felt obligated to give formula without even trying to breastfeed because they assumed they were doing the best for their baby. Imagine going through that!

Emilee was fortunate (like myself too) to have a group of breastfeeding women that supported her and her goal was that breastfeeding was the only option. This is what we need more of for moms out there that have a desire to breastfeed!

Here is Emilee’s story...

Breastfeeding and FOOD (for us)!

up close and personal

During the pregnancy, you always hear people talking about nutrition, prenatals, healthy weight gain, etc. They are all very important things. Although I found myself indulging once in a while in my cravings, I am happy the weight I gained was all healthy and not in excess.

Well sometimes nutrition during breastfeeding gets overlooked since now your baby is in your arms rather than in your womb. However, in my opinion, it is EQUALLY important. The no smoking/drinking rule still applies (although enjoying a cocktail once in a while is really ok as long as you don’t nurse right away), you can’t do any “detox” diets/cleanses since you would essentially be delivering your “toxins” to your baby along with any teas, supplements, and medications, and you have to eat well AND enough.

All that weight gain you get from pregnancy makes you feel less than attractive, your body is different and that’s the reality of it all. My body carries weight differently, I have more flab (yay) even though I lost all my weight and then some, and my boobs, well they will never EVER be the same again. So I understand when women feel the need to “re-claim” their bodies by getting into a crazy exercise routine right away and dieting, however it isn’t always the healthiest route. I won’t sit here and tell you what to do because it’s really what you are comfortable with essentially. However, just like in pregnancy, always consider what you take in while breastfeeding is what your baby will have too!

I learned very quickly that Estella could not tolerate excess dairy when I had it in my coffee, ate yogurt, or occasionally ate things with cheese. I knew that I had to eliminate it and from there, it encouraged me to eat more nutrient dense foods overall. I was very lucky to have my mom stay with us for the first 3 weeks of Estella’s life...she made me tons of Lao food filled with bone broth, ginger, garlic, and vegetables. It was the perfect food I needed to recuperate and heal plus it was very nutritious for Estella. It makes me happy to know Estella and I are more connected in that way too. Although, she is her own person and thriving as a little human being, I am still her source of nutrients. She is the best motivation to keep myself healthy. Breastfeeding, eating more whole foods, and staying active are the ways I was able to lose all my weight plus 10 extra pounds! I can say I’ve never loved my body more than I do now....

Growing up with my grandparents was amazing. My grandpa had his own garden he tended to and loved fishing. My grandma was able to take everything my grandpa would bring her plus more to make beautiful and scrumptious Laotian meals I enjoyed everyday. She is my inspiration for cooking. After I was done with my homework for the day, instead of sitting in front of the TV, I would sit in the kitchen and watch her as she worked her magic. She never measured or opened a cookbook. She wanted me to teach me to know food before I could use it.

I’m sure Ryan would thank her for those lessons, since he benefits from it too! When I make Laotian meals, I do not use any recipes and it makes me proud to say I am my grandma’s granddaughter. Most other cuisines, I love looking through recipes and being inspired to make the meals in my own way.

I came across this beef stew recipe from Chris Kresser (recipe here) that was inspired by French cuisine. My grandma actually makes a beef stew very similar to this that has an essence of French and Lao touches. I love being able to take my traditional Laotian background and applying it to modern recipes that are healthy and still delicious. After all, food can trigger the best memories. So as I was cutting up vegetables and the beef for this, I just pictured my grandma in the kitchen doing it all with me.

Ryan & I peruse through the farmer's market weekly and always make a stop to our "veggie guy" who happen to have these beautiful golden beets! We also picked up these juicy and sweet tomatoes from him too! He is our go-to for beautiful, high quality, and organic vegetables!

And any recipe with fresh herbs and tons of garlic is high on my list too. Adding the garlic just at the end and then topping the stew off with fresh minced parsley will make your taste buds and belly very happy!

Anyone that eats food at our house consumes a ton of garlic and herbs! It's a staple in almost every meal I make. A couple variations I made apart from the recipe: Instead of buying beef stock, I actually used the bone (that came with the grass-fed chuck roast from our farmers) and made my own beef stock plus I added carrots for more color and nutrients.

Not only is this a great "edible garnish" for most meals, you can add it to your smoothies for a fresh and pumped up flavor! Tons of health benefits as well.

 Well here is the beef stew I made. The flavors are warm and inviting.

 You'll taste an undertone of sweetness from the golden beets and carrots (that I added in), the robust flavor of the red wine, and the beef will be so tender, it'll melt in your mouth. It's filling, healthy, and you can use a crockpot (which I did) so it saves you time! It'll save you money too since one pot will feed multiple people or in our house, we can eat it over two days plus for lunches too.

Try it. You will love it just as much as we did!

The following recipe it taken directly from here- beef stew

Type of dish: Entree
Equipment: Dutch oven or oven-safe pot with lid, or slow cooker
Servings: Serves 6

Ingredients:

• 2 lb. beef chuck or round, cut into two-inch stew cubes
• 2 TB lard
• 6 shallots, sliced
• 1 yellow onion, sliced
• 8 cloves garlic, minced or pressed
• 1 TB tomato paste
• 1 cup tomato puree or 2 chopped tomatoes
• 1 1/2 cups red wine (if you would prefer not to use wine, substitute 1 1/4 cups additional stock and 1/4 cup apple cider vinegar)
• 1 cup beef stock
• 2 anchovy fillets, minced (optional)
• 2 bay leaves
• 3 TB dried herbs de Provence (or if you’d like, make your own bouquet garni with fresh herbs–thyme sprigs, parsley sprigs, bay leaves, and any others–tied in cheesecloth)
• 2 cups yellow beets, peeled and cut in 1 to 2 inch chunks
• 2 cups celery root (celeriac), peeled and cut into 1 to 2 inch chunks, about 1 large or two small celery roots. Substitute turnips, carrots, parsnips, etc, for the beets and celery root; just check carb value of your substitutions (on nutritiondata.com) if on low carb plan
• 4 strips orange zest
• fresh parsley for garnish, chopped

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 300F.
2. Heat an oven safe pot over medium heat. Add the lard and onions. Cook, stirring, until softened, about 10 minutes.
3. Add 6 of the minced garlic cloves and cook for one more minute (save the other 2 for the end).
4. Add all the remaining ingredients except the fresh parsley. Make sure the liquid completely covers the beef, and add more wine and/or stock if necessary. (If using a slow cooker, transfer the onions and garlic from the pan to the slow cooker, add all ingredients, and cook on low for 4-6 hours).
5. Stir and allow to come to a gentle, very low simmer. Cover with the lid of the pot and transfer to the oven. Cook for 4 hours, stirring every hour or so.
6. The stew is done when the beef is fork tender. At the end of cooking, add the remaining 2 cloves minced garlic and cook for 5 minutes more.
7. Serve the stew, and garnish with the fresh parsley.

Enjoy!
 

a mama of faith...

Before I introduce our next mama, I wanted to say HAPPY 11 months to our beautiful Estella! We are in full party planning mode and can’t believe a year has flown by...stay tuned for a blog next month featuring her totally awesome party! ;)

So I’ve known our next mama since high school! We actually reconnected when we bumped into each other at a restaurant. Estella was a couple months old and she was pregnant! The first thing I remember telling her was “BREASTFEEDING IS HARD BUT YOU CAN DO IT! Get the proper support and don’t give up!”

When her baby was born, I wanted to extend any support I could just to encourage her because I know Estella & I had a whirlwind of a journey..and well obviously I am very passionate about breastfeeding. Anabel has such a sweet personality, very open, and always so positive. I knew that she would do anything and everything to give her beautiful baby the world. So she was completely open to having Estella & I come over and assist in her breastfeeding as well as help give support in other areas too. It was my pleasure to providing her with any knowledge I had from my background plus my breastfeeding experience. Not only do we have this experience together and can connect in that way, we also share the same faith! It’s a beautiful thing!

Here is her story-

“In a perfect world, I would have only gained 30 pounds, had a natural birth, and Kyrie would have latched on right away.  I believe God allows us to have imperfections in order to appreciate our lives and those around us.  As a determined first time mommy, I wanted to breastfeed my son no matter what, I asked for skin-to-skin contact right away, well as soon as possible since that's what was recommended by all the books that I had read.  I had been scheduled to go in for a c-section, which was not my plan.  I went in to c-section with mixed emotions.  I was sad and ashamed that I would not be able to deliver my son the "natural way" but so excited to see him and hold him and let him know how much I love him, as if he didn't already know.