a baby story...

If you’ve read my previous posts (Prodromal labor pains & Early labor pain), you can tell that this “LABOR” process has been quite the journey.

You know the stages of labor you learn in birth class?! Well...for some reason, I happen to be that small percentage of people that experience everything you DON’T learn in class. 

Just to quickly explain labor stages so you’ll better understand my story-

1^st stage- Early and Active (can be very long and it is the stage where your cervix is at least 4cm dilated and continues to open; contractions gradually increase in frequency and intensity)

Transition- HELL phase. Shortest but the most painful because contractions are on top of each other without a break (generally should last between 15-30 mins)

2^nd stage- Pushing!

3^rd stage- Delivering the placenta

Early labor can vary for everyone...it can last from hours to days! Well for me it was days but my contractions were not regular. They were changing with every one that came so I still question if I was actually in early labor. I was only barely 2 cm dilated at my appointment when the pain all started (Tuesday 9/18/2012). I had the “blood show” that started Monday night and went until I actually went into labor. It wasn’t a one-time deal. My anxiety only increased...with every trip to the bathroom I kept wondering if my water was going to break!

I doubted myself. I took the Tylenol PM Tuesday night so that I could get sleep. My contractions were anywhere from 7-15 minutes apart...they were very irregular! I started feeling discouraged...like here we go again. The pain I was experiencing was DEFINITELY different than all my contractions during prodromal labor.

When people say “You’ll know when you have real contractions...” Well...I thought I knew but then it wasn’t following anything we learned. I started getting a little freaked out that if this isn’t it...then will I be able to take the pain when it is IT?

I was able to sleep OK Tuesday night although I got up here and there to pee and the contractions were strong enough to wake me up from time to time. Wednesday I woke up at 9am and had this surge of energy...uh oh nesting time. I did all the laundry. Cleaned. Went for a long walk with my mom and Xander. Did more work. Etc etc. Again..the contractions were still irregular...6-10 minutes apart.

welcome Estella!

1st picture- 38 weeks! 2nd picture- Estella is 3 days old :) ["41 weeks"]

Introducing for the first time on my blog, my beautiful daughter....

Estella 

Malisone Dorough

She is the LOVE of our lives! 

We are so blessed with her and cannot wait to share her own mini-chalkboard updates! 

Thank you for being so patient. Our first week as a family of three has been...interesting and there is a definitely a huge LEARNING CURVE so my blog as well as many other things have been put on the back burner (of course!) 

I hope I can post her "1 week" update tomorrow although she is officially ONE WEEK today! :D 

Stay tuned....

waiting game update & request!

Courtesy of Dr. Coe while waiting for my acupuncture appointment!

I broke my new years resolution.

I started this blog January 1st as a NEW YEARS RESOLUTION to myself to set my mind and heart on the positivity in my life rather than all the negative. A blog a day was my GOAL.

I have to be honest...I didn't think I would make it this far and I didn't think anyone would even care about my daily rants! :) I was wrong.

Everyone has been so supportive. I made it MORE THAN half the year writing a blog a day. And after finding out we were expecting, it was the best way to keep everyone updated...create memories for us and our baby...and receive love and support during the tough times.

So thank you.

But as Monday hit...so did the exhaustion and moderate cramps. All I wanted to do was sleep which I couldn't because of the increased in pain...this could be it is what I kept thinking...hence why I have no blog post. I guess focusing on breathing through the pain was more important to me than writing a couple words! ;)

Then Tuesday...a MAJOR difficult day. Prenatal appointment was positive in that the non-stress test shows my baby girl is healthy and super strong...but the exam showed I am have NOT progressed enough to be admitted into the hospital although I am experiencing GUT RIPPING pain at regular intervals.

I was instructed to go labor at home...take some Tylenol PM to get sleep for the marathon to come...and try to relax.

Being a Naturopath...I cringed when she said Tylenol PM...really!? why!!! She actually recommended it the night before..I didn't listen & was up from 2am until 7am..slept for an hour with pain...then woke up at 8a. So I learned quickly why she recommended it.

Prodromal labor for more than 2 weeks.

Now I get to be one of the lucky ones to experience EARLY labor for days rather than hours. Boy do I have good luck! ;) 

I guess we ARE getting to the finish line...eventually. I have to continuously remind myself that God knows His plan is perfect and true for us & trust He is in control. For a person who feels comfortable with control...imagine how crazy my mind is going!

I need to continue to focus on the physical signs that are apart of EARLY LABOR...that I am experiencing them...longer than some other people but that I need to have confidence in the body that God has made...that my body is doing hard work.

So yes I went home. Took Tylenol PM at 2pm. Woke up an hour later due to the pain. Went back to sleep. Woke up after another hour due to the pain. Went back to sleep. Well you get the drift.

Sleep was okay last night but I'm only in the first couple stretches of this marathon & physically I am tired BUT mentally, I am more exhausted. 

My lack of blogs & fb posts apparently stirred up some thoughts that I was actually in the hospital in active labor! So I had to write a fb status to dispel it because my text inbox was getting full...my fb inbox was getting overwhelmed...which left me feeling super pressured.

I think that is also a difficulty for me mentally...the PRESSURE. My family and all of you have been on standby as the days have rolled by and I am still not holding my little baby girl. weirdly enough..it makes me feel bad that my body is not responding or something!

I am THANKFUL for the love and support. I really am. I feel so full of the LOVE we are receiving...and how much you guys all love her already.

So thank you.

A couple Bible verses I have been reflecting on:

"He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress. I will not be shaken." Psalm 62:6 - one of my favorite verses but I think little Baby D may be holding true to this verse too! haha!

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

From this point on, I just ask that you continue to keep us in your thoughts..pray for us..pray for her health and mine..and Ryan's ;) 

Don't worry, I will update you when we make our way to the hospital and I'm sure you will be soon annoyed of all the pictures of her flooding my facebook and blog posts.

Please respect this difficult time for us as a family & refrain from texts, phone calls, or messages asking "So any baby yet?!"
However- Encouraging words are definitely welcomed all the time...seriously, I need them at this point.

Although, I give you full permission to bother my family and friends about baby updates! Just not us. haha

The confidence and prayers you have all sent our way really has made a huge difference to help me push through. 

You all will be notified in due time. 

NOTE: This will be my LAST post before I share a picture of my beautiful baby girl when we get to meet her.

Thank you.

going on my 10th month :(

pregnant for a COMPLETE 9 months....wow.

 How far along? FORTY weeks 

Total weight gain? 1 # (Total: 30#)

Maternity clothes? YES! except I wear mainly non-maternity clothes. woowoo
Stretch marks? None! :) 

Sleep?  BARELY any. Laying down increases my contractions.....I wake up then fall back asleep....wake up then fall back asleep....etc etc. I wake up usually between 4am-6am then sleep until 9am.

Best moment this week? Talking to Xander (my amazing 2 year old nephew) about the baby and using her name :D

Miss Anything? Yes! A lot of things!

Movement? so much! I love it so much. I love that she responds to us but I am so ready to meet her and give her a ton of kisses!

Food cravings? Still random...this week = OREOS and I always love me some GRINGO tacos from the Fire it up truck and dark chocolate ice cream! 

Anything make you queasy or sick? pain!
Gender? Well she is ALREADY late (since it's almost 10pm on my actual due date 9/16) so a diva!!!

Symptoms? CONTRACTIONS!!!!!!!! As I am typing, I have pretty strong contractions...they've been regular ALL DAY so hoping she is coming in the next couple days! 

Belly button in or out? Still in! :) That little thing is NOT coming out! Yay. 

Wedding rings on or off? I don't even wear the band anymore! :( So sad. My hands are SWOLLEN. My feet are a little bit but not as bad and painful as my hands!

Happy or Moody? MooOoOody! Especially if I'm hungry...past two weeks have been atrocious to spirit :( 

Looking forward to? the actual day! I am begging for more pain as I get contractions and I'm basking in the pain. 

I think the last 3 weeks of posts have said something like "I hope this is the last post I write to you before my birth story..."

Well...I can't say that ENOUGH at this point.

My next prenatal appointment is Tuesday & I am praying that I actually don't make it to the appointment...and that the next time I see my midwife will be in labor & delivery! 

It's amazing to think that 4 weeks ago, I was still cringing at the PAIN I am about to endure.

After two weeks of prodromal labor *on & off contractions & then some* plus today's regular strong contractions, I am WELCOMING the pain.

BRING IT ON! 

I'm begging for pain to slap me down to the ground and bust my water so I can get this process over with! 

It's a feeling I never thought I would have but I guess God knows me better than I know myself.

He knew if I didn't experience this annoyance of a "pre labor" process, I might not go through with my natural goal...well at this point, I'm NOT scared of the pain.

I can't wait to challenge it. 

Bring it baby! :)

Praying & hoping I get the best gift soon....

"prodromal" what?!

It could be pregnancy brain. Or the fact that I didn't always pay attention in class.

BUT I don't remember the discussion of this evil thing called PRODROMAL labor in graduate school OR my Bradley classes!

No not...FALSE labor or BH contraction..but the thing in between false and REAL labor.

Yup. That's PRODROMAL labor. 
That is what I've been experiencing for 14 DAYS straight.

It's when your body starts "practicing". You get REAL contractions (confirmed btw!) that are not consistent but are slowly preparing your body for the big SHABANG.

It really sucks. I get the point of it...I do.
But every night I go to bed thinking..wondering...hoping that the next time I wake up, I either have a huge wet spot on my bed from amniotic fluid OR I am in agonizing and wretching pain. (SAD huh?)

Because all day long, I'm in complete discomfort (times 14 days). The first couple days....ok I was getting excited...this could be it right?! Then after about the 5th day, I started to lose hope but my body continued to rip me apart. (ok ok I get to be a little dramatic, just let me)

Even my midwife said to me at my last pre-natal appointment, "HOW ARE YOU STILL PREGNANT?!" Yeah.....I wonder the same thing.

My poor family and husband are just hanging on by a thin thread (as am I) as they are on standby that any second or minute, I'll go into full blown active labor! (please...)

It's a quite funny joke God is playing on me. Almost the entire pregnancy..even through all my natural birthing classes and pep talks from my amazing husband, I kept fearing the inevitable...the PAIN. But now, I am so freaking annoyed that I AM SOOOOO READY. I mean SUPER SUPER ready. BRING IT ON is what I say to myself every time my contractions get stronger then 2 hours later..."JUST KIDDING!"

EHH!

Don't bother giving me advice on how to induce naturally. seriously...DON'T! Not only have I done my research...learned many ways in school...but I have TRIED everything BUT castor oil (which I refuse to try until I am WAAAY OVERDUE).

Just let me rant. Be frustrated. then BREATHE. I know my beautiful baby girl will be in my arms any day now and very soon I'm sure, but I can't help but be frustrated.

Ok. I'm done.

Thank you for reading this far as I complain. I actually do feel better now getting that off my chest.

Back to drinking my Raspberry Leaf tea, bouncing on my physioball, and eating spicy food...and everything else;) I might even moxa my acupuncture points again..or what the hey, I should just needle myself (haha)

Please continue to keep us in your thoughts...especially my little baby. Please continue to pray she is remaining healthy and growing and that I remain sane! I love her so much...I just want to meet her already!

<3

quite the experience

I am still very pregnant.

Prodromal labor for 2 weeks SUCKS.

getting close...

had my third acupuncture appointment today.

*crossing my fingers!*

yup

you got it!

I am STILL pregnant.

eviction notice!

Had my prenatal (hopefully last) appointment today.

Not much progress unfortunately...which I was told doesn't mean a whole lot. 

Got the OK to get acupuncture today to stimulate birth!

Thank goodness I know some pretty smart & talented people- thank you Cynthia! 

Hopefully after a couple more appointments..this little girl will arrive!

blessings.

The countdown is ON! 

I am so blessed & spoiled by my amazing family.

My mom came to stay with us since last night and along with her came my favorite little man, Xander since she's his main babysitter during the day. 

(an unbelievably huge sacrifice from my brother & sister-in-law [also my doula!])

Testing out Baby D's stroller! :) 

I got to sleep in today. Work on a couple things. Play with Xander and have conversations with him...he's amazingly smart & amazes me. Seriously one of the coolest kids ever!

Went on a long walk with my mom, Xander, and Oliver to the park. 

My mom made me lunch and made us dinner.

Got to take a long nap. 

I didn't even realize it, but it's really what I needed.

The waiting has been excruciating...along with the constant *behind the scenes* contractions that have been constant for over a week now....all this help from my family..husband...has just been exactly what I needed. 

My two favorite boys! 

And now I'm waiting for my husband to come home with a bunch of yummy goodies from patients and reps that LOVE Baby D too! :D 

(hopefully) going to my LAST pre-natal appointment tomorrow and waiting patiently as Baby D decides to arrive on her own time...

thank you for the love. We are so excited! <3

39 wks = I'm going crazy but still fabulous.

Keeping it fabulous...until D-Day! 

How far along? 39 weeks 

Total weight gain? 0 # (Total: 29#)

Maternity clothes? YES! (No that dress is actually NOT maternity but way better to wear pregnant because it made me LOOK pregnant the only other time I wore it!)
Stretch marks? None! :) woowoo!

Sleep?  BARELY any. Laying down increases my contractions.....I wake up then fall back asleep....wake up then fall back asleep....etc etc.

Best moment this week? Celebrating Ryan's 30th birthday with him 3 days straight...and especially watching him enjoy himself at the Windy City Wine Festival! :D

Miss Anything? Yes! A lot of things!

Movement? so much! I love it so much. I love that she responds to us talking to her..especially when her dad sings to her! She loves it :)

Food cravings? Still random...but I am loving these pumpkin drinks!!! Yum Yum. Oh I craved Crazy Bread the other night....weird!

Anything make you queasy or sick? the pain has made me nauseous....only hinting what is yet to come!
Gender? Girl! 

Symptoms? CONTRACTIONS!!!!!!!! discomfort...muscle aches...joints hurt because my hands are actually more swollen than my feet...I feel like a little old lady with a big belly...or a rolly polly...or a combination of all of that sounds about right.

Belly button in or out? Still in! :) That little thing is NOT coming out! Yay. 

Wedding rings on or off? I don't even wear the band anymore! :( So sad.

Happy or Moody? MooOoOody! Especially if I'm hungry. Don't mess with me when I'm hungry. For real....ask Ryan. haha

Looking forward to? Holding our little girl in our arms and smothering her with kisses while she tries to push me away...and kissing her little baby feet! I love baby feet. Yeah that moment..and many more to come :)

Celebrating LOVE

Beautiful city of Chicago!

Since Baby D hasn't arrived, Ryan and I took the risk and drove into the city to enjoy the beautiful Fall (ish) weather! I got him tickets for the Windy City Wine Festival (I won them!) for his birthday. He was excited because he got to have his 10 wine tastings...AND mine! Plus two beer "tastings" :)

becoming more....real

I can't believe we are LESS than 10 days away...9 days today until our due date!

It feels as if she should come earlier...but how would I know?! This is my first time but so far...I am feeling a lot more uncomfortable than I have ever felt throughout the pregnancy. 

Yes...even compared to the horrible train slapping nausea and unbearable fatigue....even worse than that. 

Keep us in your prayers. 

Our bags are packed. Food is sitting in the fridge ready to go. Car seat is strapped in. 

Speed dial button is ready to call family. Everyone is on stand by waiting....just.....waiting.

Now little Baby D just needs to let us know when she wants to meet us :)

dirty 30 to my love!

happy 30th birthday to my main squeeze- Ryan!! 

I know I know..you guys must be sick of HOW OFTEN I tell you how wonderful, amazing, loving, hot, sweeeeet, etc Ryan is to me and how I am SO so SO lucky to have him in my life....well I don't care! Because I can't express it enough! There just aren't enough words! 

So I wanted to include some of my favorite pictures that show you the type of man he is...

OMG moments of this pregnancy journey

This journey is coming to an end soon (maybe not as soon as I would like) but it is going to end...and then turn into another journey for Ryan and I to tackle (super exciting!!).

As I sit here experiencing the joy of moderate contractions, belly dancing, hiccups, and peeing every 5 minutes, I can't help but think of how far we've (baby and I) have come together.

From the day we found out to the fear of losing her to sneaking food in the bathroom during my board exams to this growing and beautiful belly...this journey has been nothing less than AMAZING.

Ryan and I have often stopped ourselves to say, "We created a little human."....our DNA has combined to form a being. How beautiful is that right? Very...weird to think about from the scientific side but even more beautiful to imagine that something like this is POSSIBLE! How can anyone question that there is a more powerful being in complete control of everything when you get to see a life being formed and made?!

Anyhow...along our journey, we've had some funny OMG moments to OH NO YOU DIDN'T! moments that I wanted to share. If you are responsible for some of these moments, don't worry, it will be kept anonymous but YOU KNOW WHO YOU IS! hehe :)

38 weeks....not a happy camper!

Can you tell that I am trying SUPER HARD to smile?! :)

How far along? 38 weeks 

Total weight gain? 1 # (Total: 29#)

Maternity clothes? YES! I rather wear...nothing. ha.
Stretch marks? None! :) 

Sleep?  BARELY any. Laying down increases my contractions....the time IS near but not soon enough!

Best moment this week? Being able to work on Arts & Crafts with Ryan from making her a onesie to customizing our own letters for her name for the nursery! AND the nursery is 90% done!!!! :)

Miss Anything? Yes! Being NORMAL.

Movement? so much! I love it but I can't say that I love when she digs her little feet into my rib cage.

Food cravings? Still random...but I really wanted a burger for about 15 minutes then it subsided! ha.

Anything make you queasy or sick? Motion!
Gender? Girl! 

Symptoms? CONTRACTIONS!!!!!!!! nothing else really compares!

Belly button in or out? Still in! :)

Wedding rings on or off? Just the wedding band!

Happy or Moody? MooOoOody! Very anxious...frustrated...blah.

Looking forward to? D-Day! Every day feels like THE day...then nope. 

the process

This process is new to me. Obviously.

It is quite unnerving not knowing what is true or what is false. 

Keep us in your thoughts...

On a good note: I loved that Ryan and I had a weekend (finally) all to ourselves. We finished the baby's letters for her name to hang up...a couple more DIY projects...and will be hanging everything up tomorrow! 

We are so excited to meet our little girl...but I think she's pretty comfortable using my bladder as a pillow so we'll see when she decides to make an appearance.

Pictures of the nursery will be posted post-baby :D

blah

No baby yet. Still miserably uncomfortable. Yay.