waiting game update & request!

Courtesy of Dr. Coe while waiting for my acupuncture appointment!

I broke my new years resolution.

I started this blog January 1st as a NEW YEARS RESOLUTION to myself to set my mind and heart on the positivity in my life rather than all the negative. A blog a day was my GOAL.

I have to be honest...I didn't think I would make it this far and I didn't think anyone would even care about my daily rants! :) I was wrong.

Everyone has been so supportive. I made it MORE THAN half the year writing a blog a day. And after finding out we were expecting, it was the best way to keep everyone updated...create memories for us and our baby...and receive love and support during the tough times.

So thank you.

But as Monday hit...so did the exhaustion and moderate cramps. All I wanted to do was sleep which I couldn't because of the increased in pain...this could be it is what I kept thinking...hence why I have no blog post. I guess focusing on breathing through the pain was more important to me than writing a couple words! ;)

Then Tuesday...a MAJOR difficult day. Prenatal appointment was positive in that the non-stress test shows my baby girl is healthy and super strong...but the exam showed I am have NOT progressed enough to be admitted into the hospital although I am experiencing GUT RIPPING pain at regular intervals.

I was instructed to go labor at home...take some Tylenol PM to get sleep for the marathon to come...and try to relax.

Being a Naturopath...I cringed when she said Tylenol PM...really!? why!!! She actually recommended it the night before..I didn't listen & was up from 2am until 7am..slept for an hour with pain...then woke up at 8a. So I learned quickly why she recommended it.

Prodromal labor for more than 2 weeks.

Now I get to be one of the lucky ones to experience EARLY labor for days rather than hours. Boy do I have good luck! ;) 

I guess we ARE getting to the finish line...eventually. I have to continuously remind myself that God knows His plan is perfect and true for us & trust He is in control. For a person who feels comfortable with control...imagine how crazy my mind is going!

I need to continue to focus on the physical signs that are apart of EARLY LABOR...that I am experiencing them...longer than some other people but that I need to have confidence in the body that God has made...that my body is doing hard work.

So yes I went home. Took Tylenol PM at 2pm. Woke up an hour later due to the pain. Went back to sleep. Woke up after another hour due to the pain. Went back to sleep. Well you get the drift.

Sleep was okay last night but I'm only in the first couple stretches of this marathon & physically I am tired BUT mentally, I am more exhausted. 

My lack of blogs & fb posts apparently stirred up some thoughts that I was actually in the hospital in active labor! So I had to write a fb status to dispel it because my text inbox was getting full...my fb inbox was getting overwhelmed...which left me feeling super pressured.

I think that is also a difficulty for me mentally...the PRESSURE. My family and all of you have been on standby as the days have rolled by and I am still not holding my little baby girl. weirdly enough..it makes me feel bad that my body is not responding or something!

I am THANKFUL for the love and support. I really am. I feel so full of the LOVE we are receiving...and how much you guys all love her already.

So thank you.

A couple Bible verses I have been reflecting on:

"He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress. I will not be shaken." Psalm 62:6 - one of my favorite verses but I think little Baby D may be holding true to this verse too! haha!

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

From this point on, I just ask that you continue to keep us in your thoughts..pray for us..pray for her health and mine..and Ryan's ;) 

Don't worry, I will update you when we make our way to the hospital and I'm sure you will be soon annoyed of all the pictures of her flooding my facebook and blog posts.

Please respect this difficult time for us as a family & refrain from texts, phone calls, or messages asking "So any baby yet?!"
However- Encouraging words are definitely welcomed all the time...seriously, I need them at this point.

Although, I give you full permission to bother my family and friends about baby updates! Just not us. haha

The confidence and prayers you have all sent our way really has made a huge difference to help me push through. 

You all will be notified in due time. 

NOTE: This will be my LAST post before I share a picture of my beautiful baby girl when we get to meet her.

Thank you.