Height/Weight:
21 ¼ inches
7 pounds 11.5 ounces
Size:
Newborn!
Favorites:
Food- BREASTMILK!
J
Book- “On the
night you were born”
Song- “Jesus
loves me” although her daddy sang “Still Fly” by Big Tymers to her and she
really liked it haha
Toy- My boobs.
Non-toy toy- My
boobs.
Time of day- any
time as long as she’s fed, clean, and napping!
TV show- she
doesn’t get to watch any yet!
Thing to giggle at-
She loves laughing and smiling in her sleep!
Firsts/Milestones:
- She started trying to roll onto her belly from her back!
She’s a bit of an over achiever.
- Blowouts & farts are still HILARIOUS.
- She is making eye contact with us when we talk or sing to
her and little faces! Yay! Can’t wait for her to interact with us more and
more.
- We are followers of “attachment parenting” and it has
really worked for our little family- whether we have support concerning it or
not!
- TWO week doctor’s appointment (10/5/12): Estella
only gained ½ of an ounce which is quite strange since she has about 6-8 poopy
diapers, nurses like a little piggy, and also pees a lot! Our pediatrician did
an exam and according to our facts thinks the scale is off (from last week or
this week) and would like us to come back in a week to get her weighed and
checked again. He thinks she is progressing well otherwise and really thinks
we’re doing a great job. Although he has full confidence in my efforts to keep
her healthy and thriving...I still feel guilty or disappointed in myself..that
I could have done more or something. We came home and weighed her on our scale
and it said she was clearly over 8 pounds...so we’re hoping there was a
technical gliche at the office today. Plus a couple of her newborn outfits are
getting a little snug...so there’s no way our little piggy is not gaining
proper weight!
Being a parent is
easily THE hardest thing I will ever have to learn and do in my life...other
than the whole pushing her out of my vagina thing. The things you don’t talk
about to friends and family...well those are the things I am beginning to
slowly learn and realize.
Okay yeah everyone says you don’t get sleep...I don’t know
if that has been the biggest challenge for me. “Baby weight” is a common phrase that gets tossed around...but
that’s not really a big deal to me (weirdly enough- I’m happy I’ve already lost
20 of the 30 pounds I gained!). You think not having a period for 9 months is
awesome (well it was) until you hear the words “So now, you will have bleeding for about 6 weeks that will gradually
decrease.” Wait, um what? 6 weeks? The 5-7 days I complained about before
(pre-pregnancy) don’t look so bad now. Oh and wait, I have to wear big old
granny pads?! Oh gosh. But...again, dealing with that hasn’t been a big deal
for me.
It’s the WHIRLWIND of emotions that flood your head that is
the BIG deal. The rapid decline in estrogen post-partum does some pretty sick
things to your psyche. I will say I have been forewarned about the first 2
weeks being the toughest (mentally) but I guess I didn’t know what to really
expect...until now.
This is suppose to be
the most amazing & happiest time of my life right? With a beautiful
baby girl who is thriving and healthy. But
why didn’t I always feel like I could appreciate that every day? Don’t
get me wrong, this has nothing to do with the unexplainable deepest of LOVE
that I have for my amazing daughter. So if that’s what you were thinking,
well rewind that back!
I would say I’ve just been more sensitive lately to anything and everything. I have not had any
resentment or bitter feelings towards Estella but they are more feelings of
disappointment in myself as a young mother intermixed with disappointment/hurt
felt from comments from family & friends. I’ve been so much more protective
of her than I thought....future tiger
mom?! Uh oh.
Is breastfeeding difficult because of me? When she cries and
screams, is she blaming me? When I broke down and gave her a bottle for one day
to give my boobs a break, did I fail her as a mother? Is she not gaining the
recommended amount of weight (after 1 week) because something is wrong with my
breast milk?! The questions raced through my head every day. I will say
honestly that for the first week of her life, I cried at least once every
single day.
Then I started to feel some resentment towards people that
have been trying to help me get through these first two weeks. Am I even relevant anymore? But...Thank God for the help I've received...going through long days alone would make things seem more impossible.
Some moms have shared their stories of post-partum hell with
me that have ranged from mild to very severe...and I always excluded myself
from that thinking that I may be able to surpass it. But no it hit me like a freight train and thank goodness it is fading away.
The lack of sleep, loss of appetite (thank goodness people
remind me to eat!), painful nipples, and excess bleeding combined with a crazy
load of unstable emotions really does add to the “parenting is difficult” thing
that parents always talk about. Honestly sometimes I have to ask myself...wait...Why am I even crying?!
Taking a shower has become a luxury. Brushing my hair is
like a massage. Peeing and pooping have to be scheduled. And any time with my husband is well...non-existent.
Being a mom is not as glamorous yet as I was able to embrace my pregnancy. I say yet because I am hopeful that it will
be...I know it all gets better. After all, nothing worth it is ever really easy. This too shall pass. Please don't misinterpret this as a cry for help...because it's not. It's my honest expression...take it for what it is.
So has the first 2 weeks been difficult? I would say
that is an understatement.
But is this the BEST time of my life? I would say THAT is an understatement.
This is my life.
What I feel that I’ve been made for.
She is best thing
I’ve ever made
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